How To Apologize (The Right Way) in 3 Simple Steps

两人apologizing 728

The case has been argued (and sustained) that some of usapologize too much.

However, when an apology is warranted, it turns out there’s a right way and a wrong way to deliver it. The former is shockingly simple, and will be most satisfying and potentially healing for both the guilty and the wronged. The latter all but guarantees further resentment.

Here’s how to apologize the wrong way

I’m sorry you’re so upset. It just really bugs me when you _____. I really feel ______.

Sounds familiar? This method launches into diatribe, reiterating grievances that caused initial conflict; continues—with increasing passion and at higher volume—to defend self and blame opponent.

Now, here's how to apologize the right way

Founder and blogger Tina Roth Eisenbergdetailed the steps of a proper apologyin a recent post and we're using it as our blueprint...

A real, effective apology has three parts:
(1) Acknowledge how your action affected the person;
(2)说对不起;
(3) describe what you’re going to do to make it right or make sure it doesn’t happen again. Don’t excuse or explain.

Hey, we said the best way to apologize was simple. We never said it would be easy.


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Suzanne Zuckerman

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